Next week I’ll be starting with my new work, but I still have to report in my current job to finish some tasks and turn over my responsibilities. That would mean 80 hour work weeks, I feel like a lawyer or a med intern. I hope the pay is enough to cover the hospital bills.

Visited my old high school last Tuesday, it felt so much smaller than I remembered. Somehow old worries seem so inconsequential now as I walked through the hallways and listened to a lecture on balancing chemical formula and solving differential calculus. I wanted to barge in and say “Hey, you know what, as you go through life you’ll find out that not all things are similar to chemical compounds with definite atomic weight and can be balanced nor are all problems like polynomially complete equations that have roots” But of course I just held my tongue, they would have to learn that for themselves. My physics, math, economics and literature olympiad participation did very little in helping me get through the most difficult phases of my existence in this world. Most of the times, my idealism that everything has a logical explanation or a rational solution just made me more pessimistic. It’s easier to accept that all is random, no need to find patterns and arithmetic progression to understand it.

So now, as I shed my old beliefs and stretch my new found wings, I hope I’ll wake up one day and find out that I can still fly despite all the bruises and beatings.

I can almost see the rainbow over the next horizon.

IPOD MOOD: “Unwritten” by Natasha Bedingfield