woke up today with a sickness at the back of my head so i laid in bed to keep the room from turning. called work to say i’d be missing work and work called about the orders building up in the error queue again, gave the go ahead to redeploy the application, took some meds and drowned in dreamless sleep.

when i looked out the window, i saw tiny rain drops from the endless grey clouds above and a car covered with orange leaves that has managed to invade the rest of our front lawn – the nuances of fall, that reminded me of the wilted white tulips on the table, remnants of a day that paled in comparison to all the other years. i took two pages from yesterday’s newspaper and wrapped them carefully, paying a quick homage to still life and all things ephemeral.

took another dose of pain killers wanting to numb every nerve ending, needing to be as empty as my heart right now. after a while, feeling light headed, i opened itunes and played crosby, stills, nash and young’s “our house”.